Hey sayang..

I'm writing while you're back in kampung.

I'm missing you so bad, i'm having a very bad headache now.

You know how i always get sick when you're not around, don't you??

:)

You reminded me yesterday of the day you confessed it all to me.

The day we sat at the void deck, waiting for the rain to stop.

I never felt that hurt before, like, i don't know why, but yes, maybe i cared for you at that point of time.

Because you were my everyday boy, since 18th January.
But i so admire your courage, for telling me the truth.

Maybe that's why i fell harder for you, because only real men has got guts.

Why, why did you even start?

My mind wasn't at peace at all after knowing how truth really hurts.
No wonder you're so skinny and your face, it wasn't glowing at all.

I'm stuck between my heart and my brains.

Because my brains tell me maybe you're not worthy because i've seen friends getting abused by their boyfriends who does that thing you do, but my heart tells me maybe i could change you since i cared so much.

And yes, i've decide to pick heart over brains.

Because everyday boy, you were a part of me already.

Even if we were just friends.

You were my significant friend.

But changing you wasn't so hard.
Maybe because you knew i cared so much.

But when you told me of the urges, i just have to give a big fat NO.

Because i really wanted you to stop all that nonsense.

I wanted you to be healthy, i wanted you to be happy and yet, not depending on it to keep you happy.

Maybe i loved you, just a little.

Maybe that's why, even when i know the truth, i still stick with you.

Baby, no matter what, i want you to talk it out.

Never repeat your mistakes, please.

If i'm the one stressing you out, tell me.

I think we're matured enough. (eventhough i still behave like a baby around you. :P)

I love you so much, Muhammad Hanafi Anuar, my one and only Boboy.